UC-NRLF 


p  s 

1524 

D3 

S95 

1902 

MAIN 


LIBRARY 

OF   THF, 

UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA. 
?n^.T°K 

Class 


THE    SYNDIC 


A  COMIC  OPERA 
IN  THREE  ACTS 


Written  by  WASHINGTON  DAVIS 


Author  of  "  Camp-Fire  Chats  of  the  Civil  War,"  "Silent  Bliss,"  "The  Provost  Guard," 

"  Three-Cornered  Wedding." 
Literary  Associate  of  Hubert  Howe  Bancroft,  etc. 

Composed  by  D.  S.  HOLLINGSHEAD 

Composer  of  "  Toward  the  Chambers  of  the  Dawn,"  "  Present  in  Absence,"  "The  Girl  I 
Dream  About  "  and  the  opera  "  Mrs.  Sippey.  " 


Jo 

J 


PRICE,  10  CENTS 

/^^r: 

f^OFTH- 

:  •  r 


BALTIMORE 

THE  SUN  JOB  PRINTING  OFFICE 
1902 


COPYRIGHT,  1902 

BY 

WASHINGTON  DAVIS  AND  D.  S.  HOLLINGSHEAD 
BALTIMORE,  MD.,  U.  S.  A. 


All  rights  reserved  in  the  United  States,  Great  Britain,  France, 
Germany,  Italy,  Spain,  Portugal,  Belgium,  Denmark,  Switzerland, 
Mexico  and  Chili,  according  to  the  International  Copyright  Law. 


59s 


HISTORICAL  NOTE. 

"Qubec  was  founded  by  Samuel  Champlain  in  1608.  It  was 
taken  by  the  English  in  1629  and  restored  to  France  by  the 
treaty  of  1632.  In  1636  it  had  one  hundred  inhabitants.  It  was 
the  colony  of  a  concessionary  company  who  did  not  fulfill  their 
promises  to  the  settlers,  and  hence  its  growth  was  slow. 

"The  Magistrate,  named  by  the  company,  was  called  a 
SYNDIC,  and  had  powers  similar  to  those  of  a  Mayor.  The 
King  (Louis  XIV  of  France),  dissatisfied  with  the  manage 
ment  of  the  Company,  took  the  colony  into  his  own  hands,  and 
in  1663  appointed  a  Governor,  and  created  the  Sovereign  Coun 
cil  of  Quebec,  who  were  charged  with  its  government." — 
Appleton's  Cyclopaedia,  Article,  "Quebec." 


[ACKNOWLEDGMENT. — This   Libretto   was   written   after   a 
study  of  W.  S.  Gilbert's  works.] 


158589 


LIST  OF  CHARACTERS. 

Louis  XIV,  King  of  France. 

THE  SYNDIC,   Governor  of  Quebec  and  a  bachelor  of  great 
promise. 

SIR  ROYAL  MERINO,  Secretary  of  the  Treasury. 

GENERAL   Au   REVOIR,   Commander-in-Chief  of   the   Army  of 
State. 

COUNT  VINUM  Du  GRAPE,  Absconding  Commissioner. 
MAJOR  APLOMB,  a  Self-Made  Statesman. 
FATHER  DRIEUILLET,  a  Sojourning  Priest. 

SCRIPTUM    MAJORIS,   Secretary   of    Everything   not  pertaining 
to  the  Colony. 

SWEET  JASMINE,  Daughter  of  Sir  Royal  Merino. 

MADAME  SANS  DENTUM,  Mother  of  Charity. 

LOVILLA,  Adopted  Sister  of  Syndic. 

ESTELLE,  Adopted  Cousin  of  Syndic. 

First  Guard  of  the  King. 

Second  Guard  of  the  King. 

Chorus  of  Acadian  Peasants. 

lime  and  costumes  of  early  part  of  reign  of  Louis  XIV.  of 
France. 

SCENE — Early  Quebec,  Canada,  1658,  and  Paris,  France. 


THE  SYNDIC 


ACT  I. 

SCENE. — Foot  of  Esplanade  at  Quebec  in  1658.  A  harbor  and 
boat  landing  right  lower,  with  practical  rock  center  and  left. 
Church  steeple  shows  behind  rocks,  and  FATHER  DRIEUIL- 
LET  ascends  and  rings  bell  joyously  as  curtain  goes  up.  Left 
lower  is  set  zvith  open  reception  room,  with  table,  chairs 
and  fireplace.  Right  lower  shows  river.  SCRIPTUM  MAJORIS 
blows  horn,  GENERAL  Au  REVOIR  fires  off  small  mortar  gun 
at  left  toward  right,  with  very  little  powder  and  drum  beat 
behind  the  scenes  to  make  the  report.  COUNT  VINUM  waves 
the  nag  of  France,  SIR  ROYAL  waves  his  hat  and  ladies  their 
handkerchiefs,  all  as  a  greeting  to  SYNDIC  as  he  is  pulled 
ashore  by  MAJOR  in  rowboat. 

GREETING  CHORUS. 

All  hail  this  day  of  jubilee! 

Give  cheer  on  cheer  till  three  times  three! 

Ring  out,  glad  bells,  and  trumpets  blow, 

That  every  patriot  may  know 

The  joy  we  feel,  and  greetings  bring 

To  our  new  Syndic  from  the  King. 

Then  cheer  on  cheer, 

As  the  ship  draws  near; 

When  he  comes  ashore, 

Let  the  cannon  roar, 

And  colors  gay 

"Unfurl  today, 

That  he  may  see 

Our  cup  of  glee  J 

Fills  to  the  brim 

To  welcome  him, 

With  cheer  on  cheer  till  three  times  three, 
This  glorious  day  of  jubilee! 


(Enter  SYNDIC,  right  upper,  before  chorus  is  finished  and 
makes  frantic  gestures  of  disapproval  at  the  cheering, 
while  MAJOR  APLOMB  ties  up  the  boat. 

SYNDIC.  Very  good  !  excellent  !  a  royal  reception  !  It  com 
mends  your  loyalty  and  does  me  a  world  of  honor;  but  by 
e\  *ry  grace  of  all  my  patron  saints,  don't  let  it  go  any  fur 
ther.  SICL  it  right  here! 


^L.     (Salutes.)     Why,  sir,  we  thought  you  would  be 
pleased. 

SYNDIC.  So  I  am,  wonderfully  pleased—  pleased  beyond  the 
bounds  of  pleasure. 

SIR  ROYAL.  Then  let  us  cheer—  a  reception  without  cheers  is 
cheerless.  Ha,  ha!  I'm  getting  young  again.  (Chuckles  and 
cfoers.  ) 

SYNDIC.  No,  no  !  If  news  of  this  should  get  back  to  France, 
the  King's  jealousy  at  my  popularity  would  at  once  return  me 
to  the  Bastile. 

ALL.    Oh,  oh. 

SYNDIC.  And  thus  nip  in  the  very  bud  the  brightest  hopes 
of  our  beautiful  administration  that  is  to  be. 

SIR  ROYAL.     So  it  would  —  so  it  would. 

SYNDIC.  Hence,  on  my  behalf,  don't  be  guilty  of  such  good 
humor  again.  I  know  you  only  meant  it  as  good  humor. 

GENERAL.  But  the  public  demonstration  !  We  must  quell  the 
riotous  public  spirit  by  a  tremendous  parade,  or  something,  in 
your  favor  —  or  in  somebody's  favor  !  It  has  become  absolutely 
necessary  to  favor  somebody  publicly  ;  and  each  of  us  being 
loaded  with  more  honors  than  we  can  carry  already,  we  natur 
ally  selected  you,  our  new  governor.  Three  times  three!  (All 
cheer.) 

SYNDIC.    Don't  !     Don't  !  !    Don't  !  !  ! 

GENERAL.     But  we  must  cheer. 

ALL.    Yes,  we  must  cheer. 

GENERAL.  A  revolution  will  break  out  if  we  don't  cheer! 
We've  had  no  governor  for  a  whole  year  —  no  one  to  look  up 
to.  We  couldn't  look  up  to  ourselves  very  well,  being  only 
heads  of  departments,  and  we  are  just  dying  to  be  governed  — 
three  times  — 

(Start  to  cheer,  but  are  stopped  by  SYNDIC.) 


SYNDIC.  No,  no!  You  must  never  display  any  good  feeling 
whatever,  especially  in  public.  His  Majesty,  acting  through 
My  Excellency,  might — I  don't  say  he  would,  but  he  might — 
think  you  too  prosperous,  and  either  increase  the  taxes  or  wipe 
out  the  whole  colon}-. 

ALL.     (Mournfully.}     Oh,  oh! 

SYNDIC.  I'll  tell  you  how  to  escape  a  revolution  without 
noise.  Why,  I've  escaped  a  hundred  revolutions  in  the  Old 
World,  and  never  made  a  bit  of  noise  about  it,  particularly 
while  I  was  escaping.  Just  hear  ME. 

ALL.     Hear!     Hear!     (Wave  handkerchiefs,  hats  and  Hags.) 

THE  SYNDICS  SONG. 
SOLO — SYNDIC. 

O,  I'm  the  governor-general  great ! 

The  Syndic  is  my  title — 
Adorning  Quebec's  chair  of  state, 

And  my  edicts  all  are  vital. 
For  all  your  ills  I'm  the  panacea — 
The  proof  of  this  is  prima  facia — 
And  I'll  rule  your  roost  in  style,  I  ween, 
For  I  come  direct  from  Louis  Fourteen. 

CHORUS. 

He'll  rule  our  roost  in  style,  we  ween, 
For  he  comes  direct  from  Louis  Fourteen. 

The  King  of  France  is  a  very  nice  man. 

Who  reigns  quite  well  when  sober, 
And  has  a  good  time  whenever  he  can, 

From  May  until  October. 
His  ambassadors  are  men  of  brains, 
Who  know  enough  to  come  in  when  it  rains, 
And  are  never  bribed  by  sordid  pelf, 
But  are  oft  mistook  for  the  King  himself ! 

CHORUS. 

They're  never  bribed  by  sordid  pelf. 
But  are  oft  mistook  for  the  King  himself. 


ALL.     Hooray,  hooray!     Vive  la  Roi ! 

SYNDIC.     Silence!     1  ^ay,  no  more  cheering. 

GENERAL.  Rut  this  time  we  were  cheering  the  King  of 
France ! 

SYNDIC.  Exactly.  But  indirectly  you  were  cheering  Me, 
because  some  people  think  I  look  like  him ! 

SIR  ROYAL.    You  do  look  precisely  like  him. 

GENERAL.     His  very  counterfeit. 

MAJOR.     (Aside.)     Counterfeits  are  no  good. 

^Ladies  all  cross  to  lower  left  and  hold  whispered  conversa 
tion,  looking  back  frequently  over  shoulder  at  SYNDIC.) 

SYNDIC.  1  do  look  like  him ;  that  is  an  accepted  fact.  But, 
you  see,  the  ladies  have  stopped  cheering.  They  understand 
this  jealousy  question  pretty  well.  Some  ladies  think  the  King 
is  jealous  of  me. 

LADIES.     (Confidentially  to  one  another.) 

O,  he's  as  handsome  as  handsome  can  be ! 
And  he  looks  live  Louis  X — I — V. 

(MADAME  SANS,   LOVILLA  and   ESTELLE  keep   on  whispering, 
while   SWEET  JASMINE  steps   aside   and   fans   herself  with 
both  hands  as  though  about  to  faint  from  being  affected  at 
sight  of  SYNDIC.) 

SYNDIC.  (Looking  askance  at  JASMINE.)  Ah!  a  beautiful 
flower  for  such  a  wild  forest.  (Throws  kiss  at  her — flirtation.) 

JASMINE.  Oh,  I  can't  stand  this  oppressive  atmosphere.  It's 
cold,  but  oppressive.  (Exit.) 

SYNDIC.  (To  GENERAL  and  SIR  ROYAL.)  Yes,  the  fact  that 
I  resemble  the  King  in  looks,  actions  and  thoughts  has  given 
me  great  trouble,  but  also  great  glory.  So  many  of  my  friends 
in  Paris  had  so  often  remarked  this  that  I  persuaded  myself  to 
issue  a  few  royal  edicts  on  my  own  account.  Of  course  these 
came  to  the  ears  of  the  King,  and  I  was  invited  to  take  up  my 
residence  where  society  was  scarce  and  the  bill  of  fare  was  not 
such  as  a  gentleman  might  desire— in  a  deep,  dark  parlor  of 
the  Bastile,  indefinitely!  Yes,  sir,  i-n-d-e-f-i-n-i-t-e-1-y- 

MAJOR.    That  might  have  been  a  very  long  time. 


SYNDIC.  It  might  have  been  a  very  long  time;  but  the  King 
happened  to  glance  over  some  of  my  edicts,  found  them  to  be 
very  good  and  wisely  concluded  that,  as  I  so  much  resembled 
his  Majesty  himself,  I  would  be  just  the  one  t(*  exercise  his 
royal  prerogatives.  So,  here  I  am,  the  Governor  of  France's 
greatest  colony ! 

GENERAL.  We  greet  you  loyally,  for  you  bring  us  good  cheer. 
Three  times — 

SYNDIC.  No,  no ;  but  you  may  have  the  privilege  of  accept 
ing  the  thanks  of  His  Majesty  and  also  those  of  My  Excel 
lency  ;  and  now  we  will  immediately  hold  a  council  of  state. 
The  Secretary  of  the  Colonial  Treasury  (SiR  ROYAL  bows) 
and  the  Commander-in-Chief  of  the  army  (GENERAL  bows) 
will  remain  while  the  others  retire,  as  the  Secretary  of  the 
Navy  (MAJOR  bows)  favors  us  with  one  of  his  inimitable  opera 
tions  to  warm  us  up  and  tell  us  of  his  remarkable  career. 

(All  exeunt  except  MAJOR,  SYNDIC,  SIR  ROYAL  and  GENERAL, 
who  take  seats  and  consult  together  near  left  lower,  where 
there  is  an  open  reception  room;  and  MAJOR  APLOMB 
brings  saw-buck  and  saw  to  right  lower,  saws  two  or  three 
sticks  of  wood,  whittles  shavings  and  starts  fire  in  grate, 
left  center,  reception  room,  while  he  sings:) 

THE  MAJOR'S  RISE. 
SOLO. — MAJOR  APLOMB. 

In  sixteen  hundred  and  twenty-four — 

See-saw — see-saw ! 
My  start  was  made  by  doing  this  chore — 

See-saw — see-saw ! 
I'd  often  heard  such  wondrous  tales 
Of  chopping  down  trees  and  splitting  rails 
By  statesmen  wise  and  great  and  good, 
That  I  began  by  sawing  wood — 

See-saw— see-saw ! 

From  humble  work  it  was  my  fate — '- 

See- saw — see-saw  ! 
To  rise  to  my  present  exalted  state — 

See-saw — see-saw ! 


IO 

For  I  soon  found  out  some  very  good  tricks 
Of  cutting  and  drying  political  sticks, 
Till  my  political  renown 
W*s  given  a  title  by  the  crown — 
See-saw — see-saw ! 

Like  noblemen  from  everywhere — 

See-saw — see-saw ! 
I'm  fond  of  maidens  young  and  fair — 

See-saw — see-saw ! 
Inoculated  with  royal  blood, 
I  show  democracy  by  sawing  wood. 
Till  creditors  no  longer  moan, 
Then  an  American  heiress  I'll  call  my  own— 

See-saw — see-saw ! 

SYNDIC.  (Comes  down  and  hits  MAJOR  vigorously  on  back.} 
Great,  Major,  great.  You  are  one  of  nature's  noblemen,  in 
deed  ;  and  your  greatness  shall  be  rewarded  by  the  most  beau 
tiful  and  richest  heiress  in  the  colony. 

MAJOR.     (Bows,  then  cheers.}    Hooray  for  Your  Excellency! 

GENERAL.  (Rises,  crosses,  rapidly  comes  down  and  crosses 
again,  rubbing  hands  nervously.}  But,  sir,  you  have  seen  the 
entire  population  except  the  peasants— there's  only  one  heiress 
in  the  colony— SWEET  JASMINE,  the  daughter  of  SIR  ROYAL— 
(Waves  hand  as  though  introducing  SIR  ROYAL,  who  comes 
down  and  bows}—  and,  you  see,  SIR  ROYAL  and  myself— ahem ! 
—are  already  very,  very  friendly.  (Bows  pretentiously  to  SIR 
ROYAL  and  then  stands  erect  folding  arms.} 

SIR  ROYAL.  General  Au  Revoir  has  told  the  truth  for  once 
in  his  life,  and  then,  to  be  sure,  there  is  Count  Vinum  du 
Grape  (GENERAL  and  MAJOR  turn  away  from  each  other  and 
from  SIR  ROYAL  and  groan  loudly  at  mention  of  COUNT'S 
name,}  who  makes  some  pretentious  to  my  daughter's  hand. 
Of  course,  I  am  perfectly  willing  that  any  of  these  gentlemen, 
but  not  all  of  them  should  marry  her  (GENERAL  and  MAJOR 
groan  again.}  and  I  would  like  to  have  the  thing  settled.  But 
it  the  Major  is  the  lucky  man,  what  is  to  be  done  with  trie 
other  two? 


II 

SYNDIC.  (Scratches  his  head.)  Well,  as  I  have  promised, 
this  is  to  be  a  model  administration,  and  in  order  to  give  every 
man  his  choice,  a  royal  decree  now  issues  making  every  lady 
an  heiress,  beautiful  and  rich. 

(Enter  ladies,  except  JASMINE,  suddenly  and  cheer  and  wave 
handkerchiefs  and  take  hands  of  SYNDIC  and  other  busi 
ness  to  show  lavish  affection.} 

LADIES.     (Sing.)     Ladies  fair  and  rich  we'll  be, 
Made  so  by  your  great  decree ! 

SYNDIC.  Why,  ladies,  you  must  not  interrupt  this  council  of 
state ! 

MADAME.  We  couldn't  help  but  listen — wanted  to  hear  your 
first  decree — woman's  curiosity,  you  know — and  we  came  as  a 
committee  of  thanks.  (MADAME,  LOVILLA  and  ESTELLE  bow 
respectfully  and  exeunt  quickly.} 

SYNDIC.  We  must  have  a  sergeant-at-arms  to  guard  our 
deliberations. 

SIR  ROYAL.  We  should  have  a  sergeant-at-arms;  but  we 
have  been  peaceful  and  prosperous  so  long  that  each  of  us  have 
eight  or  ten  offices  now,  and  the  office  of  Colonial  sergeant-at- 
arms  is  still  vacant. 

SYNDIC.  The  Major  (MAJOR  bozus)  will  act  as  sergeant-at- 
arms. 

MAJOR.  With  all  due  loyalty  and  dignity.  (Exit  and  return 
with  trident  and  keep  back  all  who  try  to  enter  until  exeunt  of 
SYNDIC,  GENERAL  and  SIR  ROYAL  after  "Conspirators'  Trio."} 

SYNDIC.  My  Excellency's  second  great  edict  is  one  for  the 
relief  and  encouragement  of  love-sick  couples  who  wish  to 
elope. 

GENERAL.  That  will  set  everybody's  heart  afire.  The  colony 
is  already  ripe  for  revolution,  sir. 

SIR  ROYAL.  So  it  is  ripe — dead  ripe;  business  dead,  money 
all  on  the  government  trees,  waiting  to  be  plucked. 

GENERAL.  The  soldiers  have  all  set  sail  for  their  homes  in 
the  Old  World— I  am  the  only  one  left  of  the  whole  army.  We 
really  need  a  revolution,  or  the  colony  will  die  from  too  much 
peace. 


12 

SYNDIC.  (Crosses,  takes  papers  from  table,  goes  to  fireplace, 
turns  to  look  at  others,  holds  papers  behind  his  back  and  drops 
them  in  the  fire  with  great  nonchalance.}  One  revolution  dies 
a  premature  death. 

GENERAL.  Why,  sir,  you  have  burned  up  all  our  recent  stat 
utes.  (Tries  to  recover  papers.} 

SYNDIC.  (Turns  and  looks  at  papers.}  They  are  burning, 
to  be  sure;  but  it  is  a  mere  accident.  Revolutions  are  some 
times  quelled  by  accident.  Are  there  any  more  public  disturb 
ances  that  require  an  accident? 

SIR  ROYAL.  Well,  yes;  the  all-important  cause  has  been 
overlooked.  Your  Excellency  will  see  that  my  daughter— 
ahem— foregoing  modesty  and  family  pride— my  daughter's 
marriage  prospects  are  the  real  genesis  of  this  public  indisposi 
tion. 

SYNDIC.  I  understand ;  and  My  Excellency  takes  a  personal 
interest,  yes,  sir,  a  personal  interest,  in  the  matter,  by  issuing 
the  edict  of  elopement.  She's  not  the  first  woman  who  has 
caused  a  revolution. 

GENERAL.  And  she's  as  good  and  beautiful  and  rich  as  any 
who  ever  smiled  on  a  brave  soldier.  (Salutes  and  bows.*) 

MAJOR.  Or  as  ever  betrothed  to  a  self-made  statesman. 
(Boivs  very  humbly,  then  continues  pacing  to  and  fro  in  rear 
as  a  sentinel.') 

SIR  ROYAL.  She  will  necessarily  have  an  official  wedding. 
(Very  pompously.}  The  Secretary  of  the  Treasury  practically 
owns  all  the  funds  in  the  country,  and  half  will  thereby  entail 
to  her  lucky  husband. 

SYNDIC.     I  will  take  a  further  personal  interest.     An  edict 
(writes  at  table}  hereby  issues  that  this  young  lady  be  married 
at  once. 
GENERAL,  MAJOR  and  SIR  ROYAL.    Hooray!   Hooray! ! 

ray ! ! ! 

SYNDIC.    With  such  a  cause,  I  really  favor  a  revolution,  or 
rebellion,  or  insurrection— one  of  those  colonial  or  republican 
affairs,  vest-pocket,  bloodless  edition  on  good  paper— most  of 
them  are  on  paper— one  that  will  attract  attention  from  the  out 
side  world,  so  that  we  can  sell  more  bonds. 

SIR  ROYAL.  Yes,  sell  more  bonds.  There's  great  profit  in 
the  right  kind  of  a  revolution. 


GENERAL.     And  fame,  too. 

SYNDIC.  And  fame.  We  have  a  great  precedent.  There 
was  Greece  and  Troy.  A  pretty  girl  was  carried  off  some 
place  over  there— (Scratches  his  head)— I  think  it  was  Greece. 

SIR  ROYAL.  (Scratches  his  head.)  Or  Troy.  There  is  no 
reason  why  it  should  not  have  been  Troy,  although  it  may 
have  been  Greece. 

GENERAL.  (Very  emphatic.}  It  was  Paris  who  carried  off 
Helen  of  Troy,  and  the  war  which  followed  has  thundered 
down  past  all  ages. 

SIR  ROYAL.    So  it  has— so  it  has ! 

SYNDIC.  We  must  have  a  thundering  war  like  that!  Gen 
eral  Au  Revoir,  My  Excellency  appoints  you  to  carry  away 
Sweet  Jasmine  of  Quebec,  but  keep  me  posted  where  she  is  so 
that  her  marriage  edict  may  be  carried  into  effect  at  any  time. 
Keep  her  safe  until  after  the  revolution. 

MAJOR.     Horrors !     I'll  never  see  her  again. 

GENERAL.    But  whom  will  she  marry? 

SYNDIC.  You'll  see  later.  You  shall  be  satisfied.  Do  you 
swear?  (Holds  up  his  right  hand.) 

GENERAL.     (Holds  up  hand.)     I  swear. 

SYNDIC.  Sir  Royal,  will  you  join  this  deep,  dark  conspiracy 
and  swear? 

SIR  ROYAL.     (Holds  up  hand.)     I  swear. 

SYNDIC,  GENERAL  and  SIR  ROYAL.  (Join  their  right  hands 
above  their  heads.)  We  swear. 

CONSPIRATORS'  TRIO. 
SYNDIC,  GENERAL  and  SIR  ROYAL. 

To  this  we  pledge  our  precious  lives, 
And  the  fortunes  of  those  to  be  our  wives, 
And  all  the  honor  we  may  need 
To  make  this  bloodless  war  succeed; 
And,  if  we  must,  we  swear  to  lie 
Against  the  foemen  we  defy — 

The  foemen  we  defy ! 
GENERAL. 

Back  in  the  days  of  Troy, 
A  bright-eyed,  love-sick  boy 
Captured  a  maiden  coy 

To  be  his  love  and  pride. 


1-1 

From  that  time  to  this  day, 
It  has  been  Cupid's  way 
To  lead  young  men  astray. 

With  Paris  for  their  guide. 

My  plans  are  all  well  laid 
To  steal  this  modern  maid, 
And  by  a  famous  raid 

Make  her  a  soldier's  bride ! 

SIR  ROYAL. 

For  your  career  so  bold, 
I'll  furnish  all  the  gold, 
That  it  may  ne'er  be  told 
I  didn't  do  my  part. 

Like  every  father  good, 

I'll  watch  my  daughter's  mood, 

And  be  it  understood, 

I'll  guard  my  daughter's  heart ! 

And  when  we're  known  to  fame, 
It'll  be  the  public  aim 
To  set  up  for  each  name 
A  marble  work  of  art ! 

SYNDIC. 

What  you  may  need  of  health, 
Of  courage  or  of  stealth, 
Or  any  extra  wealth, 
By  edicts  I'll  supply. 

This  is  no  idle  boast — 
You've  counted  with  your  host, 
Who'll  always  do  the  most 
To  laud  you  to  the  sky. 

The  soldier  is  most  dear, 
Who  never  knows  a  fear  ; 
So  be  of  royal  cheer — 
The  foemen  we  defy! 


ALL. 

To  this  we  pledge  our  precious  lives, 
And  the  fortunes  of  those  to  be  our  wives ; 
And  all  the  honor  we  may  need 
To  make  this  bloodless  war  succeed  ; 
And,  if  we  must,  we  swear  to  lie 
Against  the  foemen  we  defy — 

The  foemen  we  defy ! 
SYNDIC.  ^ 

SIR  ROYAL.  ALL. 

GENERAL.       J 
Come  away!     Come  away! 

(Exeunt    left    lower. )\ 

(During  singing  of  last  chorus  all  except  FATHER  DRIEUILLET 
and  SWEET  JASMINE  gather  up  stage  and  finally  break  past 
MAJOR  cheering  and  following  the  trio  and  exeunt,  except 
COUNT  VINUM  and  MAJOR.) 

COUNT.    Vy,  vat  is  zees  Moseer  le  Mazhure? 

MAJOR.  Conspiracy  !  Great  excitement !  Revolution  coming, 
and  you  and  I  are  left  out!  His  Excellency  issued  an  order 
for  Sir  Royal's  daughter  to  be  married  immediately.  Figura 
tively  speaking,  we  must  make  figures  and  saw  wood  in  dead 
earnest.'  The  General  is  to  steal  Sweet  Jasmine,  but  I'm 
betrothed  to  her! 

COUNT.  Betrothed!  (Shrugs  shoulders.)  And  vat  of  ME? 
She  should  be  MINE ! 

MAJOR.  But  she  ain't,  and  the  next  best  thing  you  can  do  is 
to  make  a  bargain  with  me!  You  carry  her  off  and  hide  her, 
and  I'll  give  you  half  her  fortune  as  soon  as  I'm  married  to 
her. 

COUNT.  (Excitedly.)  Kow  marry  to  her?  Eemposeeble! 
ze  green  cheese  marry  to  ze  lofely  moon?  Par  bleu! 

MAJOR.  You  carry  her  away,  and  you'll  see !  Is  it  a  bar 
gain? 

COUNT.  Oh,  I  carry  ze  angel  around.  {Confused,  taps  fore 
head.)  Non  !  I  carry  her  avay!  Eef  zere  is  conspiracee,  I 
carry  her  avay  in  le  grand  vie  tore e! 

MAJOR.  Well,  you  shall  be  paid.  (Goes  up,  looks  off,  left 
upper,  comes  dozvn  rapidly.)  Now's  your  chance!  Lose  no 
time !  Get  behind  this  sawbuck,  for  here  she  comes.  (Exit  left 
lower. ) 


i6 

COUNT.     (Secretes  himself.)     Oh,  I  carry  her  avay !     (Sig 
nificantly.) 

(Enter  SWEET  JASMINE,  left  upper,  reading  book,  crosses  to 
right,  looks  at  water  and  sings  coming  down.) 

THE  SIGHING  MAIDEN. 

DUET.— JASMINE  AND  COUNT  VINUM. 
JASMINE. 

Maiden  sighing  by  the  water— 
Rich  man's  pretty,  only  daughter ! 
Heart  too  full  of  love  to  break  it — 
Not  a  man  around  to  take  it — 
Ah  me — ah  me! 

COUNT.      (Leaves  place   of   hiding   and   approaches   behind 
her.) 

Sighing  beauty,  lovely  creature, 
Fair  in  form,  divine  in  feature; 
Eye  that  makes  my  life  grow  brighter- 
Smile  that  bids  my  heart  be  lighter- 
Be  mine — be  mine! 

JASMINE.     (Turns.) 

Stranger,  you  cannot  deceive  me — 

Men  were  never,  never  true; 
Now  I  pray  you,  pray  you,  leave  me — 

I  will  never  marry  you — 
It  can  never,  never  be ! 

COUNT.     (Pleading.) 

Sweetness  of  the  summer  morning, 

Breath  of  every  tropic  sea, 
Cease  your  sighing,  cease  forlorning — 

I'll  be  ever  true  to  thee — 
Come  fly  with  me,  come  fly  with  me  ! 

(Crosses  and  takes  her  left  hand  in  his  right.) 

JASMINE..        O,  no;  I'd  rather  die! 
COUNT.        O,  come  with  me,  come  fly ! 


17 

(lie  puts  his  right  arm  around  her  waist  and  she  struggles 
as  they  sing  and  cross  to  left  upper,  then  she  faints  before 
exit,  with  head  thrown  back  and  arms  dangling.) 

JASMINE.        No,  no;   I'll   die-— I'll   die! 

(She  faints  and  COUNT  VINUM  drags  her  off  stage.) 

COUNT.  Yes,  yes !    We'll  fly ! 

(Enter  MAJOR,  right  lower.) 

(Enter  left  lower  SYNDIC,  SIR  ROYAL  and  all  others,  except 
COUNT  VINUM,  SWEET  JASMINE  and  FATHER  DRIEUILLET. 
MAJOR  salutes  SYNDIC.) 

SYNDIC.    Where  is  Sweet  Jasmine? 

MAJOR.  Where?  Why,  I've  been  hunting  for  her  this  last 
two  hours  She  must  be  gone. 

SIR  ROYAL.  Gone!  (Throws  up  hands  as  though  about  to 
fall.)  My  life — my  daughter! 

MADAME  SANS.     (Aside.)    I'm  glad  of  it! 

LOVILLA.     (Aside.)    So  am  I. 

ESTELLE.     (Aside.)     And  I. 

SYNDIC.    You  say  she's  gone  ? 

MAJOR.  I  don't  see  her.  (Looks  all  around.)  So  she  must 
be  gone. 

SYNDIC.     And  the  Count? 

MAJOR.    He  don't  count. 

GENERAL.  (To  Major.)  Your  superficial  nature  would  be 
good  on  a  pun-itive  expedition.  Maybe  he  has  stolen  a  march 
on  us. 

MAJOR.  We're  all  right  if  he  hasn't  stolen  anything  more 
than  a  march. 

SYNDIC.    Search  every  nook  and  corner. 

SIR  ROYAL.     Spare  no  expense. 

GENERAL.    Capture  the  enemy. 

SYNDIC.  She  must  be  found. 

ALL.     (Clamorously.)     She  must  be  found. 

SYNDIC.  Why,  sirs,  this  is  the  greatest  calamity  that  could 
possibly  befall  this  colony. 

GENERAL.    Tremendous  disaster. 

SIR  ROYAL.    A  national  disgrace. 

GENERAL..    Turn  loose  the  dog5  of  war. 


i8 

SYNDIC.  Turn  everything  loose  and  upside  down  and  inside 
out,  but  find  her! 

ALL.     Find  her  !  Find  her  ! 

SYNDIC.  The  magic  triumvirate  of  the  three  weird  brothers 
will  find  her.  (Taps  SIR  ROYAL  on  shoulder,  then  taps  GEN 
ERAL.  All  three  take  center  of  stage  and  hold  hands  as  in 
Trio.) 

FINALE. 

TRIO. 

SYNDIC,  SIR  ROYAL  AND  GENERAL. 

To  this  we  pledge  our  precious  lives, 

And  the  fortunes  of  those  to  be  our  wives, 

And  all  the  honor  we  may  need 

To  make  this  bloodless  war  succeed ; 

And,  if  we  must,  we  swear  to  lie 

Against  the  foemen  we  defy — 

The  foemen  we  defy! 

MAJOR.  Let  me  join  you.  Ain't  I  weird  enough?  (Steps 
alongside.) 

SYNDIC.    Yes,  yes ! 

Though  you're  not  made  of  royal  stuff, 
The  Old  Nick  knows  you're  weird  enough. 

QUARTET. 
SYNDIC,  SIR  ROYAL,  GENERAL  AND  MAJOR. 

Behold  our  martial  front  augments 
To  crush  all  things  it  circumvents ! 
Whoever  does  not  come  to  taw 
Must  meet  our  military  maw ! 

From  duty  we'll  not  swerve — 
We're  filling  up  our  ranks, 

And  all  of  them  who  serve, 
Do  without  pay  or  thanks. 
Behold  our  martial  front  augments 
To  crush  all  things  it  circumvents. 


19 

FULL  CHORUS. 

SYNDIC,  GENERAL,  SIR  ROYAL  AND 

MAJOR.  CHORUS. 

From  duty  we'll  not  swerve —  From  duty  we'll  not  swerve— 
We're  filling  up  our  ranks,         We're  filling  up  your  rank. 

And  all  of  them  who  serve,      And  all  of  us  who  serve, 
Do  without  pay  or  thanks.          Do  without  pay  or  thanks. 

ALL  Now  thunders  roar  and  forests  moan, 

And  lightnings  flash  and  mountains  groan, 

And  rain  and  hail 

With  wind  bewail, 

And  wrath  of  kings, 
With  dogs  of  war, 

And  all  such  things, 

From  near  and  far. 
Descend  at  once  on  every  head, 
Till  we  find  out  where  Jasmine's  fled ! 

On  every  head — 

On  every  head ! 
Till  we  find  out  where  she  has  fled ! 

Rain,  hail,  wind,  fire, 

Wrath,  vengeance,  ire. 
Descend  at  once  on  every  head, 
Till  we  find  out  where  she  has  fled. 

CURTAIN. 
END  OF  ACT  I. 


20 

ACT  II.. 

SCENE. — Armorer's  room  at  the  citadel,  Quebec. 

DISCOVERED. — All  the  men  except  COUNT  VINUM.  They  are 
greatly  excited,  partly  dressed  in  armor  and  each  hurriedly 
finishes  equipping  himself  while  FATHER  DRIEUILLET  busies 
himself  with  putting  papers  and  small  books  into  the  pock 
ets  of  his  cloak. 

CHORUS. 

Prepare  to  face 

This  great  disgrace! 
Let  every  knight  from  everywhere 
Now  come  to  rescue  this  maiden  fair, 
Whose  awful  fate,  if  she's  not  found, 
Will  wage  a  war  the  world  around ! 

So  come,  brave  knights,  for  weal  or  woe, 

To  act  pro  bono  publico ! 

SYNDIC.  Indeed,  this  most  ungracious  theft  of  Sweet  Jas 
mine  by  Count  Vinum  threatens  the  whole  existence  of  this 
domain  as  a  domain. 

SIR  ROYAL.  So  it  does  threaten — so  it  does ;  for  she  is  my — 
(jows  with  great  respect  to  SYNDIC) — my  daughter.  Her  loss 
will  naturally  break  my  heart,  and  how  can  the  treasury  of  the 
domain  be  conducted  with  a  broken  heart? 

SYNDIC.  By  any  and  all  means,  we  must  prevent  her  mesal 
liance  with  the  Count. 

MAJOR.  By  every  means  we  must.  It  will  be  certain  ruin  to 
the — (bows  low} — to  the  navy  department — a  mesalliance,  in 
deed  !  if  she  marries  anybody  but  me ! 

GENERAL.  (Salutes  the  MAJOR  with  great  precision.)  You 
are  very  straightforward  in  your  remarks.  (Bows  politely  to 
SYNDIC  and  SIR  ROYAL.)  Be  sure  the  army  will  strain  every 
sinew  to  recover  the  missing  girl. 

FATHER  D.  The  church  has  deep  solicitude  (bows  slightly 
for  all  her  children,  but  counsels  peace. 

SYNDIC.  But,  as  the  royal  representative  of  His  Majesty  the 
King  of  France  (pompously,)  My  Excellency  the  Governor- 
General,  must  insist  that  this  gem  of  the  Western  Hemi 
sphere — 


21 


MAJOR.    As  sweet  as  a  flower  from  the  Garden  of  Eden — 
GENERAL.    With  charms  to  inspire  a  whole  army  corps — 
SIR  ROYAL.    Yes  (greatly  pleased;  bows  twice}— my  daugh 
ter— 

SYNDIC.  My  Excellency  must  insist  that  this  sweet  peach 
from  the  tree  of  English  royalty  be  not  allied  to  that  siren  of 
French  nobility,  Count  Vinum  du  Grape! 

ALL.    We  all  insist. 

SYNDIC.  Think  of  the  tremendous  international  conse 
quences!  Every  throne  around  the  earth  would  fall!  My 
Excellency  well  knows  His  Majesty's  wrath  on  the  subject  of 
unchivalric  mesalliances,  and  then — 

SIR  ROYAL.    And  then!  after  the  mesalliance? 

ALL.    Then,  the  royal  rebuke. 

SYNDIC.  After  the  mesalliance,  the  royal  rebuke;  then,  a 
world-wide  war ! 

SIR  ROYAL.  Ah !  (  Rubs  hands  in  great  glee.}  So  good  of 
you  to  make  my  family — famous! 

SYNDIC.  Of  course.  I  am  always  obliging,  especially  in 
family  matters.  But  the  labyrinthine  international  intricacy! 
My  Excellency's  rebuke  will  surely  arouse  old  England's  solici 
tude  for  colonial  civilization.  The  King  of  England's  step- 
grandsire  married  a  cousin  of  the  King  of  Spain,  whose  father- 
in-law  married  an  aunt  of  the  Netherlands,  whose  brother-in- 
law  is  a  Russian  cousin  of  a  German  princess,  who  was  a 
great-aunt  of  the  King  of  Italy ;  and  the  Sultan  of  Turkey— 

GENERAL.     Horrors ! 

SYNDIC.     And  the  Shah  of  Persia — 

MAJOR.     More  horrors  ! ! 

SYNDIC.     Arid  the  Emperor  of  China — 

GENERAL  AND  MAJOR.    ALL  the  horrors  ! ! ! 

SYNDIC.  Will  naturally  follow  in  the  imbroglio  as  a  matter 
of  fashion. 

STR  ROYAL.  So  they  will — so  they  will,  as  a  matter  of  fash 
ion. 

MAJOR.     O,  horrible!  most  horrible!! 

SYNDIC.  Up  and  away !  Prevent  this  great  calamity  by  cap 
turing  the  Count.  All  business  is  hereby  suspended  until  Count 
Vinum's  apprehended.  (Bugle  sounds.') 

GENERAL.     Come,  follow  me,  ye  brave! 


22 
WARRIOR'S  BATTLE  SONG. 

QUINTET  CHORUS. — SYNDIC,  GENERAL,  M'AJOR,  SIR  ROYAL  AND 
SCRIPTUM    MAJORIS. 

O  come,  ye  brave,  obey  the  bugle's  call ! 
Before  your  flashing  steel  let  every  foeman  fall ! 

To  arms  !    To  horse  !    Away ! 

Ride  gaily  to  the  fray  ! 
Where'er  our  banner's  flaunted, 
Let  courage  be  undaunted ; 
And  what  we  lack  of  troops, 
Make  up  with  wild  war  whoops. 

For  in  the  history  of  man, 

Most  wars  are  fought  on  this  same  plan ; 

So  when  we're  in  a  royal  stew, 

We'll  do  as  other  nations  do, 

And  win  all  battles  easy  enough, 

By  giving  the  enemy  a  royal  bluff ! 

Then  come,  ye  brave,  obey  the  bugle's  call — 
Before  your  flashing  steel,  let  every  foeman  fall ! 

FATHER  DRIEUILLET.  No,  no  !  I  protest !  Peace  !  peace  ! ! 
The  church  forbids  this  rashness.  None  are  more  interested  in 
the  children  of  the  church  than  I,  and  I  do  counsel  peace !  Go 
slow.  Hear  the  words  of  the  wise. 


THE  FRIAR'S  SONG. 
SOLO. — FATHER  DRIEUILLET. 

In  all  your  bustle  of  chivalry. 

Just  stop  and  take  a  lesson  from  me. 

Don't  worry  and  fret  and  foment  strife, 

But  look  at  the  beauties  of  a  peaceful  life, 

That's  hallowed  with  blessings  day  by  day, 

For  all  content  to  live  my  way — 

For  all  content  to  live  my  way. 


23 

Of  course,  I  journey  from  place  to  place, 
Condoning  the  ills  of  the  human  race, 
And  teaching  everyone  I  meet 
To  make  his  life  so  gentle  and  sweet, 
With  wants  so  few  and  passions  curbed, 
That  at  night  his  rest  will  be  undisturbed — 
At  night  his  rest  will  be  undisturbed. 

My  fortunes  can  never  end  in  the  lurch, 

For  I  always  depend  on  the  power  of  the  church. 

In  summer  I've  the  juiciest  berries  and  cream — 

In  winter  the  finest  fish  in  the  stream ; 

For  of  all  good  things  that  men  desire, 

There's  nothing  too  good  for  a  holy  friar— 

There's  nothing  too  good  for  a  holy  friar ! 

SYNDIC.  Very  good  from  your  standpoint;  but  as  a  family, 
fashionable  and  international  matter — 

SIR  ROYAL.    And  as  good  cause  for  selling  more  bonds — 

GENERAL.    And  to  prevent  the  mesalliance — 

MAJOR.    We  must  prevent  the  mesalliance — 

SYNDIC.  Aye,  all  our  troubles  make  it  better  far  to  catch 
the  Count,  though  it  may  cost  a  war !  Brook  no  delay— away ! 
away ! ! 

(Enter  MADAME  SANS,  LOVILLA  and  ESTELLE.) 

ALL.    Away,  away  ! ! 

(Bugle  sounds.} 

(Exeunt  with  great  nourish  all  except  MADAME,  LOVILLA,  ES 
TELLE  and  SCRIPTUM  MAJORIS,  who  falls  down  and  cannot 
arise  on  account  of  his  weight  of  armor.    Men  all  sing  first 
strain    of  "Battle  Song"  as    they    go    off,    while    FATHER 
DRIEUILLET  follows  after  them,  shaking  his  head  doubtfully.} 

MADAME.  O,  fickle  man,  to  run  after  that  woman  and  leave 
us  here ! 

JLoviLLA.    O,  heartless  man,  forgetting  his  adopted  relatives! 

ESTELLE.  O.  faithless  man,  defying  the  royal  decree  that 
makes  us  as  beautiful  and  rich  as  she! 

MADAME.  All  gone  traipsing  after  her,  as  though  we  never 
existed ! 


24 

(ScRiPTUM  groans  and  calls  for    help.      MADAME    discovers 

him. ) 

No,  here's  one.  (Goes  to  him,  bends  over  stiffly  and  shakes 
him. ) 

SCRIPTUM.    Help  me  up. 

MADAME.  What !  To  run  with  the  others  after  that  exalted 
beauty?  You  may  lie  there  till  doomsday  first. 

LOVILLA.    I  say  so,  too. 
ESTELLE.    And  I. 

MADAME.  Yon  ought  to  be  shaken  real  good.  (Shakes 
him.) 

LOVILLA.  And  have  your  hair  pulled.  (Tries  to  lift  up  his 
mask,  then  hits  him  with  her  glove.) 

ESTELLE.  And  take  this  compliment  from  me!  (Strikes 
him  with  her  parasol.) 

SCRIPTUM.  Whew !  I'd  rather  face  a  regiment  than  a 
woman's  wrath.  Help  me  up  and  I'll — I'll  beg  your  pardon. 
You  see,  like  all  the  full-armed  nations,  I'm  too  well  protected 
for  mobility. 

(They  help  him  arise,  and  he  braces  himself  stoutly  to  keep 
from 'falling  again.) 

MADAME.  (Tries  to  lift  his  mask.)  Which  one  are  you, 
anyhow  ? 

SCRIPTUM.  Me?  I'm  Scriptum  Majoris,  Envoy  Extraordi 
nary,  Ambassador  and  Minister  Plenipotentiary,  External  Sec 
retary  of  Foreign  Affairs,  Viceroy  and  Consul-General  to  this 
court  for  each  of  the  nations  of  Matabeleland,  Madagascar, 
Borneo,  South  Wales,  Corea,  Iceland  and  St.  .T^sop's  Bay, 
and  a  great  many  other  things  from  every  place  else — all  at 
your  service ;  but  I  don't  dare  to  bow,  I  might  fall  down.  On 
state  occasions  like  this  I  am  expected  to  wear  all  my  regalia. 

MADAME.  Well,  sir,  we'll  regale  you.  (Shakes  her  fist  in 
his  face,  LOVILLA  shakes  her  glove  at  him  and  ESTELLE  threat 
ens  with  parasol.)  On  state  occasions,  when  we  have  been  so 
heroically  snubbed,  you  may  beware  the  vengeance  of  a 
woman's  indignation. 


25 

WOMAN'S  INDIGNATION. 

QUADRETTE. 
MADAME  SANS,  LOVILLA,  ESTELLE  AND  SCRIPTUM  MAJORIS. 

There  is  nothing  in  creation 
Like  a  woman's  indignation, 

Whenever  she  is  righteously  mad ! 
She  thinks  "dash  it,"  but  don't  say  it, 
Though  her  actions  all  betray  it 

In  a  manner  too  awful,  awful  sad — 
Awful  sad — 

In  a  manner  too  awful,  awful  sad ! 

CHORUS. 

O,  then  she  ought  to  cry ! 
She'll  be  all  the  sweeter  bye  and  bye ; 
For  it's  one  of  nature's  laws 
That  she  loves  the  man  she  jaws, 
Which  is  the  wherefore  and  the  why. 

She  may  glide  across  the  carpet, 
Slam  the  door  enough  to  warp  it, 

And  her  lovely-dovey  eyes  may  flash ; 
But  if  you  ever  blame  her, 
Before  she  has  grown  tamer, 

You'll  live  on  universal  succotash — 
Succotash — 

You'll  live  on  universal  succotash ! 

CHORUS. 

Her  gentle  hand  outstretches 
To  forgive  such  horrid  wretches 

As  all  men  many  times  may  be;       \ 
Though  she  cannot  do  without  'em, 
She  has  always  cause  to  doubt  'em, 

For  they  fib  so  frequentle 

Frequentlee — 
For  they  fib  so  f requentlee ! 

CHORUS. 


26 


So,  the  only  safe  direction, 
For  a  maiden  of  affection, 

Is  never  of  her  maiden  life  to  tire; 
Though  her  single  bliss  be  dreaded, 
She  must  always  go  unwedded, 

Or  regenerate  some  noble  falsifier — 
Falsifier — 

Or  regenerate  some  noble  falsifier! 


CHORUS. 

SCKIPTUM.  Madame  and  ladies :  As  a  recognition  of  your 
very  ladylike  sentiments,  I  would  like  very  much  to  bow — I 
have  a  real  sincere  desire  to  bow  (braces  himself  stiffly),  but 
my  diplomatic  equipments  are  somewhat  at  variance  with  my 
wish;  therefore,  kindly  accept  the  will  for  the  deed. 

MADAME.  We'll  do  nothing  of  the  kind.  After  such  be 
havior,  everyone  of  you  ought  to  be  very  humble. 

SCRIPTUM.  I  am  very,  very  humble.  In  lieu  of  a  full  cour 
tesy  I  will  try  to  bow  a  little.  Now — (carefully  bows  a  little 
and  falls  forward  on  hands  and  knees,  rolling  over  on  side.} 
O  disaster  on  disaster  !  My  elbows  and  my  knees  all  need  a 
plaster ! 

MADAME.  (Throws  up  her  hands  in  astonishment.}  Dear 
me !  The  government  entirely  abandoned  for  the  love  of  a 
flippant,  girl.  Well,  as  the  Mother  of  Charity,  it  is  my  duty  to 
take  it  in  charge.  (Goes  to  SCRIPTUM  and  pushes  him  with  her 
foot.}  If  I  help  you  out  of  your  difficulty,  do  you  promise  me 
your  loyalty? 

SCRIPTUM.  I  promise.  (Attempts  to  rise,  but  falls  back.}  I 
promise  all  a  diplomat  can.  Proceed.  You  see  I  am  pros 
trate  at  your  feet. 

MADAME.  (With  great  dignity.}  Then  I  assume  the  total 
dignity,  the  glory,  title  and  majesty  of  reigning  queen. 

ALL.    Vive  Madame  Sans  Dentum ! 

LOVILLA.    ) 

P  V  And  I  shall  be  a  princess. 

MADAME.  (Haughtily.}  Assist  the  noble  gentleman  to  ex 
tricate  himself.  ( LOVILLA  and  ESTELLE  help  SCRIPTUM  arise, 


27 

then  they  take  off  his  armor.)  The  first  prerogative  I'll  exer 
cise  is  that  of  other  queens  above  all  other  women.  I  now 
will  choose  my  Prince  Consort. 

SCRIPTUM.     Great  Hymen!     I'm  the  only  man  around! 

MADAME.    Will  you  be  he? 

SCRIPTUM.  Well,  you  see,  except  diplomatically,  I  did  not 
promise  to  love  you. 

MADAME.  Nay,  I  command  you  to  love  me,  in  person  and 
alone ! 

SCRIPTUM.    But,  Madame,  the  difference  in  our  ages — 

MADAME.    Sir !    How  dare  you ! 

SCRIPTUM.  Oh,  no  offense — no  offense  (disconcerted.)  Yet, 
there  is  quite  a  difference.  You  may  be  fifty-six  and  I  am 
only  twenty-eight. 

MADAME.  Well,  sir,  as  ,\  Queen  (haughtily),  for  your. bene 
fit,  I  will  revise  our  mathematics  as  applied  to  matrimony. 
Fifty-six  and  twenty-eight  are  eighty-four  (counts  on  fingers), 
hence  our  average  age  is  forty-two.  My  Queen's  prerogative 
will  now  declare  that  the  fashionable  age  for  every  couple  to 
marry  is  the  AVERAGE  age  of  the  contracting  parties  throughout 
this  realm. 

SCRIPTUM.  As  a  matter  of  international  courtesy,  I  suppose 
I  must  submit  and  diplomatically  take  my  chances  for  a 
divorce. 

(Enter  SWEET  JASMINE.) 

MADAME.    Gracious  me !  here  comes  that  girl !    Let  us  be  off 
to  the  priest.     She  shall  never  come  to  my  wedding. 
ESTELLE.     I  distrust  her  ! 
LOVILLA.    I  despise  her ! 

(Exeunt  MADAME,  dragging  SCRIPTUM  and  followed  by  LOVILLA 
and  ESTELLE.) 

JASMINE.  Boo-hoo  !  boo-hoo!  (Weeps.)  I  am  going  back 
to  France.  Despised  and  shunned  and  left  alone  without  a 
fault  that  is  my  own.  Sweet,  innocent  and  undefiled;  yet  he 
is  not  by  all  my  charms  beguiled. 

(Enter' SYNDIC,  unseen  by  JASMINE.) 

SYNDIC.  (Aside.)  At  last  the  luck  that  dwells  in  love's  own 
eyes  has  led  me  to  her. 


28 


JASMINE.  How  I  could  love  the  Syndic  were  he  mine;  but 
as  it  is,  I  still  must  pine  and  pine. 

SYNDIC.  No,  don't  pine,  for  I  am  your  sheltering  oak,  my 
honey-suckle.  (JASMINE  discovers  him  and  is  frightened.) 
Since  first  I  threw  that  kiss  at  you  in  May,  love  made  my  dark 
est  hours  as  bright  as  day;  and  since  you  have  yourself  con 
fessed  your  love  for  me,  I'll  make  it  doubly  blessed.  (Embraces 
and  kisses  her.)  How  came  you  here? 

JASMINE.  The  Count  was  weary  of  his  unwilling  burden 
and  sat  down  to  rest,  while  I,  being  fresh  and  eager,  simply 
ran  my  best. 

SYNDIC.  Sweet  athlete,  we'll  improve  this  happy  chance  of 
meeting  thus  so  many  leagues  from  France.  (Kisses  her.) 

JASMINE.  And  in  this  far-away,  forsaken  colony,  do  you 
love  'me? 

SYNDIC.  Love  you?  As  flowers  love  the  sunlight,  and  as 
song  birds  love  the  summer.  The  feathered  couples  in  their 
leafy  coves  are  not  more  tender  than  our  mutual  loves. 

WOOING  SONG. 
DUET. 


SYNDIC  AND  SWEET  JASMINE. 
SYNDIC.     (With  arm  around  her  waist.) 

To  his  mate  the  wild  bird  cooing, 
With  his  song  at  eventide, 

Is  not  sweeter  than  the  wooing 
Of  a  fair  and  loving  bride. 

JASMINE.     (Looks  into  his  eyes.) 

In  your  eyes  my  image  gleaming, 
Shadowed  there  by  nature's  art, 

Is  the  glory  of  my  dreaming, 
Wear  it,  then,  within  your  heart. 


(Rests  her  head  on  his  shoulder.) 


29 

BOTH.         Sweetly  thus  we'll  live  forever, 

Each  the  other's  treasure  trove; 
For  all  sorrow  that  would  sever, 
Finds  its  recompense  in  love. 

(They  kiss.} 

Vows  of  love  tell  o'er  and  o'er, 
Sweetly  thus  (kiss)  forevermore. 

(Enter  FATHER  D.  and  zvith  great  surprise  sees  JASMINE  in 
SYNDIC'S  arms.) 

FATHER  D.     (Chants.) 

Gloria  virum  in  matrimonia  est — 

Man  in  love  with  woman  is  most  blest. 

SYNDIC.  Our  sentiment  exactly!  And  you  have  the  genius 
to  be  on  hand  when  wanted.  The  edict  concerning  this  young 
lady's  marriage  will  take  effect  immediately  and  be  kept  a 
profound  secret  of  state.  In  the  absence  of  all  other  officers  I 
have  the  honor — (bows  to  JASMINE,  she  bows.  Then  he  takes 
her  hand  and  leads  her  to  the  priest  and  they  start  to  kneel.) 

FATHER  D.    But  it  might  interfere! 

SYNDIC.     With  what?     (They  rise.) 

FATHER  D.     A  very  uncomfortable  thing  has  happened. 

TRIO. 

FATHER  D.,  SYNDIC  AND  JASMINE. 

FATHER  D.  The  Mother  of  Charity 

With  heinous  hilarity, 
And  Scriptum  Majoris 
Have  both  come  before  us, 

While  others  were  gone 

To  be  made  into  one. 
In  addition  to  which 
The  benevolent  witch 
Proclaims  this  a  reason 
For  an  act  that  is  treason ! 

SYNDIC.  1  M 

T  f  Proclaims  this  a  reason 

f  For  an  act  that  is  treason !  ! ! 
FATHER  D.         ) 


30 

SYDIC.  With  all  your  domestic  expedients,    . 

The  church  should  not  find 
That  it  is  well  to  bind 
Into  one  diametric  ingredients  ; 
But  pick  out  real  love 
To  make  weddings  of ! 

ALL.  Yes,  pick  out  real  love 

To  make  weddings  of ! 

SYNDIC.         Now,  as  I'm  the  Governor-General  great, 

Hide  away  this  young  girl  as  a  secret  of  state ! 
Although  first  perform  what  indeed  will  elate  us. 
And  make  her  the  Governor-General  great-ess ! 

JASMINE.    Yes,  make  me  the  Governor-General  great-ess. 

FATHER  D.         Bless  you,  by  special  dispensation, 

You're  now  in  man  and  wife's  relation. 

ALL.     (Chant.) 

Gloria  virum  in  matrimonia  est — 
Man  in  love  with  woman  is  most  blest. 

(Trumpet  without.) 

SYNDIC.  Hark  ;  that  welcome  .sound  tells  that  Count  Vinum 
has  been  found.  (Kisses  JASMINE  then  FATHER  DRIEUILLET 
leads  her  JiastiJy  away.)  Good  night,  my  sweet  secret  of  state! 
(Throws  kiss  at  her  and  she  at  him.)  And,  Father,  keep  her 
from  the  world  inviolate! 

FATHER  D.     I  will,  (bows.) 

SYNDIC.  And  you  shall  be  priest  at  a  function  so  rare  as  this 
royal  wedding  of  ours  in  Paris. 

(Exeunt  FATHER  and  JASMINE.) 

(Enter  front  opposite  direction  hastily  and  greatly  excited  SIR 
ROYAL.  MAJOR  and  GENERAL  guarding  COUNT  VINUM.) 

GEN.,  MAJOR  AND  SIR  R.       Here  he  is. 

GENERAL.  Yes,  here  is  the  traitor!  He  should  be  court- 
martialed  ! 


MAJOR.     The  thief!     We  should  make  stove-wood  of  him. 
SIR  ROYAL.       An  official  criminal,  no  punishment  can  be  too 
severe. 

'  SYNDIC.  Yes,  I  see  you  have  the  traitor,  thief  and  official 
criminal  all  in  one,  hut  the  young  lady!  (To  Count.)  Where 
is  she? 

GEN.,  MAJOR  AND  SIR  R.     (Demand  vehemently  of  Count.} 
Where  is  she? 

SIR  ROYAL.    Where  is  my  daughter  ? 
MAJOR..     And  my  betrothed? 
GENERAL.     She  who  is  to  be  my  bride? 
MAJOR.     (To  General.}     What? 

GENERAL.     (Salutes.}     We'll  decide  that  later.     (To  Count.} 
What  have  you  done  with  her? 

COUNT.  Par  bleu!  Ay  do  nozing.  Ze  sweet  singer  bird 
escape  from  ME! 

SYNDIC.  Until  you  find  her,  you  stand  charged  with  em 
bezzlement. 

COUNT.    Embezzlement,  Your  Excellency? 
SYNDIC.     Yes,  My  Excellency  charges  you  with  embezzle 
ment  of  the  dearest  treasure  in  the  colony. 

GEN.,  MAJOR,  SIR  ROY.    She  is  the  dearest  treasure ! 
COUNT.       Eez  eet,  zen,  ze  crime  in  zees  wilderness  to  make 
lofe? 

SYNDIC.  Indeed,  a  capital  crime,  the  way  you  make  it!  So 
much  depends  on  the  manner,  you  know.  Your  tenor  voice 
will  now  have  a  most  beautiful  accompaniment  in  the  echoes 
of  the  Bastile! 

COUNT.  (Throws  up  hands  in  despair  and  falls  into  arms 
of  MAJOR  and  GENERAL.)  Ah  me! 

SYNDIC.  Or  there  is  another  wonderful  musical  instrument 
to  help  you  out,  as  it  were,  of  a  world  of  difficulties.  Your 
vocal  chords  may  come  into  direct  harmony  at  right  angles 
with  the  guillotine ! 

COUNT.    Eheu  !    Your  Excellency,  zees  is  perille  magnifique ! 
(Soliloquises.}  Vy  ay  deed  not  resign  before  zees  be  done? 
(To  SYNDIC.)     I  make  ze  resignation  now,  at  zees  present 
time,  and  hees  effect  shall  be  commence  before  ze  beautiful,  girl 
go  away  with  me. 
ALL.     Oh,  ho ! 


32 

SYNDIC.  Not  a  bad  idea;  but  tlie  eternal  fitness  of  things 
would  fit  better  if  you  had  resigned  before  committing  the 
crime.  As  it  is,  you  must  be  resigned  to  your  fate;  for  My 
Excellency  commits  you  to  come  before  His  Majesty,  the  King 
of  France  himself! 

COUNT.  (Joyously.)  Vive  la  Louis  Kootair !  Vive  la  Louis 
ie  Grand. 

(Enter  MADAME,  leading  SCRIPTUM,  followed  by  LOVILLA  and 

ESTELLE. ) 

ALL.     Vive  la  Louis  le  Grand ! 

MADAME.     Pray,  what  is  this? 

SYNDIC.  My  Excellency  is  about  to  return  to  France  to  at 
tend  a  royal  wedding — and— 

MADAME.     Whose  wedding? 

SYNDIC.  That's  a  state  secret.  Their  honors,  Sir  Royal, 
(SiR  R.  bows,)  General  Au  Revoir,  (GENERAL  bows,)  and  Ma 
jor  Aplomb,  (who  bows,)  will  accompany  me  as  witnesses 
against  this  criminal  ( COUNT  shrinks)  who  is  to  be  tried  there. 

MADAME.    And  may  we  go? 

SYNDIC.     To  be* tried?     Yes. 

MADAME.     Oh,  no ! 

SYNDIC.     Oh,  yes ! 

MADAME.    For  what? 

SYNDIC.     Treason ! 

MADAME.    Which  was  never  committed. 

SYNDIC.     His  Majesty  may  differ  from  you. 

MADAME.     (Throws  up  hands.)     The  saints  preserve  me! 

LOVILLA,  ESTELLE.    And  we? 

(Enter  Chorus.) 

SYNDIC.  My  dear  adoptions,  you  may  go  because  you  have 
done  nothing  wrong.  The  others  because  they  have. 

MADAME.  Well,  I  shall  enjoy  the  voyage.  I  am  quite  re 
signed. 

COUNT.  And,  Madame,  I  would  like  very  much  to  be  re 
signed. 

SIR  ROYAL.    But  my  daughter? 

SYNDIC.     (Nervously.)     Well,  yes. 

LOVILLA.  When  we  saw  her  last  she  said  she  would  return 
to  France. 


33 

SYNDIC.  Thanks,  my  good  cousin.  Your  solution  of  state 
questions  is  superb.  No  doubt  we'll  find  her  there.  Our  good 
ship  sails  today. 

ALL.     For  beautiful  France.     For  France  today! 

ALL.  Ahoy!     O'er  the  merry  wild  sea, 

We'll  cheerily  sail  for  Paree ! 

Our  hearts  are  light 

And  faces  bright, 

With  joy  profound, 

For  we're  homeward  bound! 
Politeness  and  exquisite  dresses, 
Good  dinners  and  social  caresses, 

With  other  festivities 

To  meet  our  proclivities 
Will  drive  away  all  our  distresses. 

SYNDIC.     (With  gestures  describing  the  action  of  the  guillo 
tine  looking  at  COUNT  and  MADAME.) 

And  one  of  the  greatest  French  beauties 
Is  a  part  of  official  state  duties ; 
For  in  France  there's  a  vocal  machine, 
With  a  wonderful  click,  clack,  clang. 
Whose  notes  are  staccato  and  keen, 
And  its  program  goes  off  with  a  bang! 

ALL.     (Taunting  COUNT  and  MADAME.) 

Its  notes  are  staccato  and  keen — 
And  its  program  goes  off  with  a  bang! 

COUNT.     (Heroically.) 

If  love  means  death, 

By  the  law's  demand, 
I'll  draw  my  last  breath 

In  my  native  land. 

MADAME.     (Spitefully.) 

And  though  I  be  tried  for  benevolent  treason, 
I  much  prefer  Paris  at  such  a  gay  season. 


34 

SCRIPTUM.     (Scorning  MADAME.) 

And  my  only  chance 
To  shake  off  this  thing, 

Is  a  favorable  glance 
From  Louis  the  King. 

SIR    ROYAL. 

For  every  fond  father, 

Who  loves  his  own  daughter, 

It  is  not  much  bother 
To  go  cross  the  water. 

MAJOR.        With  all  antecedents  so  fair, 
I  don't  mind  the  ride — 
And  to  wed  such  a  bride, 
I  naturally  ought  to  be  there ! 

GENERAL.     (Boldly.) 

A  soldier  brave 

Will  ride  every  wave, 

Though  breezes  be  fair  or  be  foul ; 
For  what  I  most  crave 
Is  my  sweetheart  to  save, 

Or  make  the  French  capital  howl ! 

ALL.     (Gleefully.} 

So  ho !  o'er  the  merry  wild  sea, 
We'll  cheerily  sail  for  Paree. 

Our  hearts  are  light 

And  faces  bright, 
With  joy  profound. 
For  we're  homeward  bound. 

CURTAIN. 


35 
ACT  III. 

SCENE. — Throne  room  of  Louis  XIV.    Paris. 

DISCOVERED. — All  except  FATHER  D.  and  Louis.  During  the 
following  chorus  each  turns  entirely  around  with  gestures 
appropriate  to  the  lines.  GENERAL,  MAJOR,  SYNDIC  and  SIR 
ROYAL  pay  constant  attention  to  JASMINE. 

CHORUS. 

ALL.  If  you  want  to  know  what  to  wear, 

When  received  by  a  king  or  a  queen, 
Just  copy  our  dresses  and  hair, 
And  you  will  be  fit  to  be  seen ! 


LADIES.      All  ladies'  eyelashes  should  droop — 

MEN.          But  not  men's  moustaches,  you  know, 

LADIES.      With  lips  pouted  like  Cupid's  loop, 

MEN.          And  cosmetique  goatee  just  so! 

ALL.  All  faces  as  bright  as  a  sheen, 

All  finger  tips  polished  and  clean ; 
For  both  sheep  and  goat 
Are  judged  by  their  coal, 
And  contents  of  head  or  of  heart 
Are  matters  of  little  import- 
Regarded  as  things  quite  apart — 
When  we're  in  good  society's  court ! 

(They  keep  on  primping  until  Louis'  entrance,  when  they  be 
come  stiff  and  formal.} 

SYNDIC.    Hist !    Here  comes  the  king ! 
ALL.    Here  comes  the  King !    Hist ! !    Hist ! ! ! 
SYNDIC.     Smile  your  sweetest,  look  your  best,  and  let  the 
courtiers  do  the  rest. 

(Enter  Louis,  attended  by  guards,  and  takes- seat  on  throne.} 
Louis.    To  what  are  we  indebted  for  this  colonial  visit? 

SYNDIC.  (With  great  deference.)  Your  Majesty,  the  truth 
is  quickly  spoken.  By  this  Count  Vinum  all  official  vows  were 
broken. 


36 

Louis.    And  tiie  specific  charge? 

SYNDIC.    Is  embezzlement. 

Louis.     Embezzlement ! 

SYNDIC.    The  same. 

Louis.     What  did  he  embezzle? 

SYNDIC.    The  prettiest  gem  in  all  the  colony. 

ALL  THE  MEN.    Aye,  she  is  the  prettiest  gem ! 

SYNDIC.     This  young  lady. 

MAJOR.    He  stole  my  betrothed. ! 

GENERAL.     She  who  should  be  my  own  bride ! 

SIR  ROYAL.     He  carried  away  my  daughter ! 

Louis.    Ho  !  that  is  not  embezzlement,  but  kidnapping ! 

SYNDIC.  But  there  are  no  laws  in  the  colony  against  kid 
napping,  so  we  were  obliged  to  make  the  charge  as  embez 
zlement. 

Louis.  Ha !  my  dear  Syndic,  some  more  of  your  cleverness 
— so  like  our  other  self. 

COUNT.  Your  Majesty,  ay  zink  Hees  Excellency  lofe  ze  di 
vine  angel  by  heemself. 

ALL.     Hist !     Hist ! !     Scandal !     Scandal ! ! 

Louis.  Indeed,  (looks  at  JASMINE,)  I  don't  blame  him. 
Such  grace  and  beauty  all  in  one  should  have  a  place  upon  a 
throne  !  I  love  her,  too  ! 

JASMINE.  (Instantly  drops  on  her  knees.)  But,  oh!  Your 
Majesty,  there  is  an  insurmountable  barrier.  I  am — I  am — 

Louis.  Arise!  Be  not  alarmed.  The  King  of  France  loves 
all  his  subjects. 

ALL.    Vive  la  Louis  le  Roi !    Vive  la  Louis  Quatre ! 

Louis.    Ha,  ha,  ha!    There  may  be  richness  here.     (Sings.) 

Indeed,  he's  a  sorry  old  King 

Who  has  not  under  his  cloak 
Some  kind  of  a  heart  that  will  ring 

With  a  good  colonial  joke. 

So,  my  good  Syndic,  you  are  so  much  to  our  liking  (SYNDIC 
makes  deep  obeisance)  that  you  may  occupy  the  throne  of 
France  while  we  are  Governor  of  Quebec  to  plead  this  poor 
culprit's  cause  with  you.  (Looks  at  COUNT.) 

SYNDIC.     (Curtly.)     Mpty  it  please  your  Majesty. 


37 

(Louis  then  takes  off  crown  and  puts  it  on  SYNDIC,  who  sits 
on  throne.    Louis  looks  at  him  admiringly.) 

Louis.  Your  imitation  of  us  is  so  coy  that  they'll  soon  say 
Vive  le  Roi ! 

ALL.  (Confused,  first  to  Louis  then  to  throne.)  Vive  le 
Roi! 

SYNDIC.  The  case  is  now  before  (refers  to  Louis,  then  to 
himself)  Our  Majesty. 

Louis.  Our  Majesty  (refers  to  himself,  then  to  SYNDIC) 
well  knows  that  for  embezzlement,  or  for  kidnapping,  there  is 
a  special  cell  in  the  Bastile. 

SYNDIC.    Our  Majesty  is  aware  of  that. 

COUNT.  Oh,  my  double  sire!  (Falls  on  his  knees,  first  to 
Louis,  then  to  SYNDIC.) 

Louis.  But  Our  Majesty  hopes  for  some  mitigating  circum 
stances.  (Beckons  COUNT  to  rise.)  What  have  you  to  say  for 
yourself? 

COUNT.     Oh,  my  sire!     (Arises.) 

Louis.    Address  the  Crown  also. 

COUNT.  And,  oh,  my  sire!  Zees  is  ze  predicament!  You 
see,  she  sing  ze  lofely  soprano,  and  ay  sing  ze  tenore! 

Louis.  Oh,  you  sing  tenor,  do  you  ?  Well,  that  is  somewhat 
of  a  plea — it  may  be  quite  efficient. 

SYNDIC.  Our  Majesty  is  informed  that  he  sings  a  very  good 
tenor. 

Louis.  Good!  Our  Majesty  knows  of  a  fine  opportunity 
for  practicing  solfeggios  in  that  quiet  cell.  (Frantic  business 
for  Count.)  I  think  of  a  parallel  case. 

THE  TENOR'S  CRIME. 
SOLO.— Louis  XIV- 

You  all  know  the  Akoond  of  Swat, 

Whose  Chamberlain's  morals  were  not 
Up  to  par, 

But  his  voice 
Was  by  far 

The  most  choice, 
And  once  heard  was  never  forgot ! 


38 

This  tenor,  while  tuning  pianos, 
Fell  in  love  with  a  thousand  sopranos, 
Which  in  Swat, 
At  that  time. 
Was  red-hot, 

Naughty  crime, 
Paid  by  eating  a  million  bananas! 

But  failing,  the  culprit  must  sing 
A  million  ballads  of  spring; 
Yet  if  sing 

Musa't  eat 
Anything 

Through  this   feat — 
"Sing  or  eat,  but  not  both,"  said  the  King. 

The  Chamberlain  unwisely  chose 
To  take  up  the  Thespian's  woes  ; 
So  he  sang 

His  sweet  lays 
Till  Swat  rang 
Many  days — 
Post-mortem  showed  de-me-sol-do's ! 


Louis.  Now,  sir,  Our  Majesty  has  the  consolation  that  the 
government  of  France  is  a  slight  improvement  upon  that  of 
Swat. 

SYNDIC.     Quite  an  acceptable  improvement. 

Louis.  Yes,  under  our  system  of  Jurisprudence  it  is  possible 
for  the  Count  to  avoid  the  Bastile. 

COUNT.    Mon  Dieu  !  (Falls  upon  his  knees.)     Be  merciful. 

Louis.     You  may  also  escape  the  guillotine. 

COUNT.     Oh,  my  sire !  I  crave  pardonne ! 

Louis.  Stand  up !  If  you  sing  only  one  song  and  sing  it 
well,  your  offense  shall  be  pardoned;  if  badly  sung,  we  shall 
surely  protect  the  public  against  your  morals  and  your  voice. 
Proceed,  sir,  to  sing  for  your  life. 

COUNT.  Remerciement,  my  sire  !  (Bows  humbly.)  Ay  veel 
zing  ofe  ze  sublime  passione  in  ze  lofely  hexameter. 


39 
THE  TENOR'S  LOVE. 

SOLO. — COUNT  VINUM  DU  GRAPE. 

Oh,  gentle  nature  may  add  fragrance  to  the  rose, 
But  not  more  beauty  to  the  lips  of  her  I  love ! 

And  all  its  laughing  ripple,  as  the  streamlet  flows, 

Blends  in  enchantment  with  the  voice  of  my  sweet  dove. 

The  light  of  sun  and  moon  and  stars  is  less  benign, 
In  the  refulgent  softness  of  the  summer's  glow, 

Than  are  the  love-lights  that  beneath  her  lashes  shine 
Through  dainty  clouds  of  blushes,  as  they  come  and  go. 

And  oh  !  the  spring  of  love  that  wells  up  in  her  heart ! 

Whose  whispered  nothings  to  me  in  her  fond  embrace, 
Are  bliss  nor  poet's  pen  nor  music's  lyre  impart— 

And  would  make  even  the  grave  the  sweetest  resting  place. 

Louis.  Good!  Instead  of  the  Bastile,  you  are  sentenced 
to  be  put  into  the  royal  choir.  Go  to  your  rehearsal. 

COUNT.    Lord  bless  Your  Majesty!     (Exit.) 

Louis.  Our  Majesty  is  now  of  the  opinion  that  the  maiden 
hood  of  this  transplanted  flower  of  the  wilderness  has  caused 
considerable  commotion  in  the  colony. 

SYNDIC.  Our  Majesty  concurs  that  she  has  created  a  com 
motion. 

Louis.  Then  we  proclaim  an  edict  that  her  maidenhood 
come  to  an  end— that  she  be  married  instant er! 

SYNDIC.  Our  Excellency  of  Quebec  has  already  issued  such 
an  edict. 

Louis.  Our  Majesty  will  then  proceed  to  enforce  Our  Ex 
cellency's  edict.  Is  a  candidate  for  husband  ready? 

MAJOR.    Yes,  I'm  ready  ! 

GENERAL.      And  I. 

SCRIPTUM.    And  I ! 

MADAME.  And  you !  (Shakes  him.)  You  are  already  en 
gaged  to  me!  What  more  do  you  want? 

SCRIPTUM.  No  more.  I  don't  want  so  much.  You  are  en 
tirely  too  much. 


4o 

Louis.  Our  Majesty  desires  the  presence  of  a  priest.  The 
lady  herself  shall  choose  her  consort. 

(Guard  salutes  Louis  and  SYNDIC  and  exit.) 

MAJOR.  But  his  Majestic  Excellency  has  already  promised 
her  to  me. 

SYNDIC.  My  Excellency  has  always  been  a  youth  of  great 
promise,  but  when  did  I  agree  to  give  her  to  you — when? 

MAJOR.  On  your  arrival  at  Quebec.  Your  words  have  been 
held  sacred  in  my  memory  for  many  weeks.  You  said  my 
greatness  should  be  rewarded  with  the  richest  and  most  beau 
tiful  heiress  in  the  colony. 

Louis.    How  now? 

SYNDIC.  That  promise  need  not  necessarily  mean  her.  An 
other  edict  made  all  the  ladies  beautiful  and  rich,  but  did  not 
apply  to  married  women.  However,  I  am  quite  content  to  let 
them  all  propose. 

Louis.  That's  right.  Let  every  man  who  wants  a  bride 
now  ask  this  lady  and  she  will  decide. 


FINALE. 
SIR  ROYAL. 

My  birdie,  in  choosing  a  mate  for  your  nest, 

First  pick  out  the   richest,   most   famous  and  best — 

Then  give  tender  feelings  a  chance  at  the  rest. 

MAJOR. 

For  such  a  sweet  heroine,  in  her  gay  jaunts, 

I  am  quite  convinced  I'm  the  husband  she  wants. 

(Advances  and  offers  to  take  her  hand.     She  declines.     Exit 
MAJOR.) 

GENERAL. 

She  rightly  refuses  a  lover  too  old, 

For  she's  waiting  to  marry  a  soldier  bold. 

(Advances  and  steps  beside  JASMINE.    She  bows  herself  away. 
Exit  GENERAL. 


41 

SCRIPTUM. 

No  doubt,  she  prefers  a  good  diplomat's  life, 
And  I  will  take  pleasure  in  calling  her  "wife." 

(Bows  and  advances.    JASMINE  looks  at  him  with  scorn  and 
turns  away.) 

MADAME.     (Goes  after  SCRIPTUM  rapidly  and  pulls  him  back.) 

No,  fickle  man,  you  now  are  mine, 
And  further  hopes  you  must  decline. 

(To  JASMINE.) 

O  proud  !     O  haughty  being ! 

Revise  your  way  of  seeing, 

And  all  your  sex  will  bless  the  day 

When  you  are  wed  and  out  of  the  way. 

LOVILLA    AND    ESTELLE. 

Yes,  all  your  sex  will  bless  the  day 
When  you  are  wed  and  out  of  the  way. 

JASMINE. 

Strange  woman,  you  should  not  revile  me — 
No  gilded  offer  can  beguile  me. 
For,  condescending  and  unfeigning, 
I'm  wedded  to  the  king  that's  reigning! 

(Goes  up  and  stands  beside  SYNDIC.     SYNDIC  rises.) 
SYNDIC  AND  JASMINE. 

Yes,  wedded  to  the  King  that's  reigning! 

Louis.         O,  revelation  upon  revelation! 
What  a  colonial  flirtation ! 

ALL.     (Pointing  to  JASMINE.) 

So  condescending  and  unfeigning, 
To  wed  the  king  that  now  is  reigning ! 

(Enter  Guard  and  FATHER  D  ) 


42 

MADAME. 

My  charity  shan't  be  outdone 

By  such  a  vainglorious  one. 

If  she  is  so  meek  and  unfeigning, 
To  marry  a  monarch  that's  reigning, 

I'll  tie  up  without  further  spatting, 

To  a  diplomat  that's  diplomatting ! 

(Grabs  SCRIPTUM  tightly  by  the  arm.) 
FATHER  D. 

O  Sire  of  state ! 

I  must  relate 
That,  sure  as  I  ring  the  church  chimes, 

To  all  of  my  best  recollection, 
This  woman's  been  married  ten  times, 

And  killed  every  spouse  with  affection ! 

ALL.  To  all  of  his  best  recollection, 

She  killed  every  spouse  with  affection ! 

Louis.         Yet,  Reverend  Father,  there's  no  clause, 
In  all  our  matrimonial  laws, 
That  calls  for  a  replevin. 

If  her  record's  such, 

It  won't  hurt  her  much 
To  take  husband  number  eleven! 

SYNDIC.       Now,  that  we're  happy  as  happy  can  be, 

It's  becoming  in  us  that  we  should  agree — 
To  let  her  benevolent  treason  go  free. 

SCRIPTUM. 

And  since  that  is  true, 

It's  the  best  I  can  do, 

As  a  diplomat  self-sacrificing, 

To  conseAt  to  connubial  splicing. 

\  (Enter  MAJOR  and  GENERAL.) 

LOVILLA   AND  ESTELLE. 

Two  fresh  little  blossoms  are  we. 

As  sweet  as  the  flowers  of  May. 
It's  funny  that  men  do  not  see 

Our  beauties  and  pluck  us  away. 


43 

(GENERAL   and   MAJOR,    each   with   hand    on   heart  pleading, 

MAJOR  to  ESTELLE,  GENERAL  to  LOVILLA.) 

A  masculine  desert  is  here, 

Devoid  of  all  feminine  cheer; 

O,  come  to  my  arms,  precious  dear, 

And  pose  as  my  sweet  boutonniere. 

( LOVILLA  throws  herself  into  GENERAL'S  arms,  ESTELLE  into 
(MAJOR'S) 

GENERAL.      ^|      The  prettiest  hymeneal  bubble 
MAJOR.          [       Is  one  which  gives  the  least  trouble, 
LOVILLA.         (       And  fragrance  of  attar  of  roses 
ESTELLE.       J        Ain't  like  such  a  chance  to  rub  noses. 

(Caress,) 
Louis.         Kind  subjects,  stop  this  thing, 

Or  you  will  drive  us  wild ! 

Lovemaking  must  be  mild, 

Or  we'll  dance  the  highland  fling. 

(Dances.) 
ALL.        Vive  la  Louis,  the  King- 

Who  dances  the  highland  fling! 

(Enter  COUNT.) 

(Louis  takes  back  crown  and  seat  on  throne,  finally  joining 
in  dance.) 

(SYNDIC  and  JASMINE  come  down.) 
Louis.         Bring  out  the  best  wine 
And  wedding  bells  ring; 
For  all  shall  now  dine 
With  Louis  the  King ! 
ALL  Vive  la  Louis  the  King — 

He  knows  how  to  do  the  right  thing! 
Let  wedding  bells  jingle, 
And  merry  feet  tingle 
To  trip  in  the  highland  fling ! 
We'll  drink  the  King's  wine, 
With  the  King  we  will  dine, 
And  all  dance  the  highland  fling! 

(They  dance.) 
CURTAIN. 


f 


U.C.BERKELEY  LIBRARIES 


CO^flfl^DSD 


58589 


